What does American Apparel have in common with the New York subway system? No, this isn’t the beginning to a dirty joke (though you’re welcome to provide alternate punchlines in the comments section) – they use the same typeface to get their point across. Helvetica. To many, it’s just the option between Gill Sans and Hoefler in a scroll down menu, but to design geeks, Helvetica is god. Fresh, clean, appealing – just what we like here at GURU Energy Drink.

‘I guess it’s like jeans and a white t-shirt,’ says GURU’s own Helvetica-obsessed Artistic Director Justin Dallegret. ‘Classic, timeless, sexy and ya want to wear it all the time.’

Don’t believe him? You’re too late to see the MoMa’s exhibit, but check out the documentary Helvetica , released in 2007 just in time for the font’s 50th anniversary.

Take that, Times New Roman.

Dick recently joined forces with animal rights group PETA and Canadian comedian Martin Short – in character as inept entertainment reporter Jiminy Glick – for a Funny or Die Exclusive to promote the parody site McCruelty, which was launched in 2000 as part of a campaign to get McDonald’s to change its methods of slaughtering chickens (including boiling them alive).

In the video, Glick interviews Mr. McDonald about his (and the fast food giant’s) animal rights track record. When the creepy clown isn’t scratching his face with a butcher’s knife he’s demonstrating how he frightens children. And if you’re not scared of clowns after watching it, you’re a stronger person than all of us here at (proudly – thankfully – organic) GURU Energy Drink.

Even if you’re not a PETA supporter, there’s another kind of animal being abused by fast food chains – human beings. About 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight, 60 million are obese and 9 million are severely obese. And just having access to fast food can affect obesity rates, especially for children. A Canadian study showed that for every additional fast food restaurant for every 10,000 people, a city’s obesity rate rises three per cent.

Scary stuff.

Froot Loops are health food?

What do Puerto Rico, Gibraltar, Jordan and South Korea have in common? Their citizens can expect to live longer than Americans, on average. Despite spending more on health care than other industrialized nations, America ranks #50 when it comes to life expectancy. But Americans have more to worry about than making it to the ripe old age of 78.11 – we’ve got to figure out how to get there without being plagued by debilitating disease. Not as simple as it sounds when we live in a nation of Processed People.

This kind:

Processed People is a documentary that tracks the decline of the American diet, from baby formula and kids’ meals to sugary cereals and frozen dinners marketed as health food (Can’t believe it? Read this New York Times article. You can check out more info on the movie and its team of experts here.

And America – let’s keep reaching for that rainbow! We’re still beating out Mexico and the Czech Republic!

-Dr. Jones

Jay-Z‘s anticipated new album, The Blueprint 3, is available now, ahead of schedule (thanks, internet leak!) and already garnering rave reviews. The UK’s Daily Telegraph gave it four stars and said of the accomplished artist: “At 40 years old, [he] comes across as a well-rounded, sophisticated and diplomatic human being, more reliant on wit, charm and persuasive argument than all-out verbal assault.”

The first “Blueprint” album was released September 11, 2001, and Brooklyn native Jay-Z made waves last week with a 9/11 benefit show at Madison Square Garden, with appearances by artists like Rihanna and John Mayer.

Jay-Z also recently made a rare appearance on Bill Maher, who gave the rapper a gift of all his lyrics bound up in a book (aww, could it be that sharp-tongued Maher is just a big ol’ softie?).

Need more evidence that the rapper’s in line with the GURU philosophy? Jay-Z’s single “D.O.A.” has him touting the virtues of going all-natural – hey, just like GURU! – and calling the time of death on voice-distorting, robot-friendly Auto-Tune.

Guru staff members have no trouble getting energized (duh) but ever wonder what music makes our offices buzz from New York to Montreal? It comes care of Justin, our in-house art director, with help from the modern mixtape.

Unless you’re painfully retro or the main character in High Fidelity, it’s probably been a while since you’ve made an actual mixtape. Or even a mix CD. Now it’s all about hearing a song in a commercial and downloading it or picking up new tunes from your favourite podcast.

And yet… there’s still something special about getting a carefully crafted sampling of old favourites mixed with new finds, each song specially selected to be played in a certain order or to match an overarching (and often nerdy) theme. But online equivalents will have to do, including Playlist, a site that allows users to upload songs and share them with friends. Nowhere to scribble between track listings, though.

Check out this week’s work vibe – dubbed “DiscoConditioned Stell’R Rock Mix” – here. It’s an upbeat blend of everyone from M.I.A. to Metric to Iggy Pop plus some high-energy remixes of artists like U2 and Kings of Leon. The perfect pick-me-up for the post-lunch work slump. Well, the second most perfect pick-me-up…

It seems everyone’s getting into the green groove these days. But GURU Energy Drink can’t be accused of jumping on the eco-friendly bandwagon: we’ve been pushing “CLEAN ENERGY” for 10 years this summer, and (still) one of the few to gain organic certification. Now going green isn’t just in – it’s hot. But we can’t take all the credit…

1. Put that poncho away – organic’s about more than hemp and tofu. Now you can be both eco-savvy and sinful with organic booze, green lingerie, even Earth-friendly sex toys.

2. You’ll be in good company. We don’t like to name drop, but *cough* supermodel Elle Macpherson, celeb chef Jamie Oliver, Entourage actress Emmanuelle Chriqui and First Lady Michelle Obama *cough*. What do they have in common? They all proudly support organic food and products. Being green seems to be the only cause célèbre without an expiry date.

3. Beauty doesn’t have to only be skin deep. Eating organic is good for your body and mind, making you a more attractive inside and out.

4. Organic produce is higher in antioxidants than the regular stuff, meaning you get the full effects of GURU ingredients like ginkgo biloba, know for its ability to amp up your sexual stamina, and ginseng, which has been proven to enhance libido… at least in lab rats. You’ll have to conduct your own tests and let us know.

5. Not only do organic ingredients taste better, the food and drink you consume affects … ahem… the taste of your body. Don’t make us spell it out for you. It’s a good thing.

All good things must come to an end. No, world famous DJ Misstress Barbara isn’t going anywhere – in fact, she’s fresh from major promo for her latest album, I’m No Human– but she is playing Piknic Électronik’s labour day weekend bash, possibly the last chance of the year for Montreal party folk to dance outside sans jackets. There’ll be three days of outdoorsy fun (you can check out the full DJ line-up here), but something tells us Sunday will be the one that counts, with Misstress Barbara holding court from 5 p.m. onwards. GURU Energy Drink caught up with Montreal’s own Misstress to find out how she spent her summer vacation.

You’ve been pretty busy promoting I’m No Human – how much personal vacation time have you really gotten?
I got two days in Marseille just two weeks ago. It was short but amazing!

If you had to write an essay on How I Spent My Summer Vacation, what would be the highlights?
Tennis, bike, motorcycle, ceviche, wine, rocky beaches of the Mediterranean.

You’re playing at Piknic during labour day weekend – pretty much the end of Montreal’s summer festival season. Is that bittersweet?
No, it’s an annual rendez-vous for me. I always picked that date and I’ve been doing it for five years now, and it’s just incredible. It’s my favorite gig in the year! It doesn’t matter for me that it means the end of the summer, as I travel so much that for me seasons don’t mean anything really.

Who’s been your summer music guru (i.e. on repeat on your summer playlist)? Any music gurus of all time?
Blind Pilot, Adele, Metric. And the all-time gurus are Charles Aznavour, Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, Dionne Warwick, Nina Simone…

We hear you’re a big fan of GURU Energy Drink, if you had to plug us shamelessly, what would that sound like?

GURU: spirit, conscience, knowledge. Make it yours.***

***If you end up using this advertisement sentence I want royalties.  : )

We already know Kanye West has good taste. He is, after all, both a fan of and shareholder in Guru Energy Drink. Smart man. So we’re paying close attention to everything he’s awarding a stamp of approval, including artist/producer duo Christian Rich. The twin brothers, who hail from Chicago, IL and were raised partly in Nigeria, have risen to fame thanks to endorsements and collaborations with artists like Lil’ Kim and Armand Van Helden (check out “Ski Hard” below).

But who did Christian Rich choose as their music guru when interviewed by Guru Energy Blog? Michael Jackson, of course. “He showed us that musically there are no boundaries,” says the duo, who count Louis Vuitton among their style gurus and named their parents as their love gurus, “The sacrifice and love they give and have given is beautiful and keeps us motivated.” Aww.

Most importantly – at least for all you New Yorkers – they’re having a penthouse party tonight at the Rivington Hotel, where they’ll be performing along with Colin Munroe and guest DJs Mick Boogie and Melo-X. Check out the Christian Rich website for more info.

Now make your own in four ridiculously easy steps. So ridiculously easy we pretty much posted these photos just to tempt you! (And in case the heat has baked your brain to the point where you’ve forgotten what ice is, let alone how to make it.)

1. Find an ice pop mold (try the Dollar Store).

2. Fill with your fave GURU flavor (we used Juicy Superfruit). freeze overnight or cave in and make half-frozen slushies ; )

3. Feel refreshed (and not at all embarrassed) as you walk to work with a frozen can of GURU on a stick.

When the Montreal band isn’t making music for GURU videos, dancing around campfires naked or throwing apples backstage (this isn’t weird speculation, it’s right off of the YouTube video description), they can be found teaching kids the ins and outs of rock along with King Khan. Or at least giving them a free concert, as seen below. The video’s a bit shaky, but aren’t they just the sweetest?